Tag Archives: advice

Love Illuminated

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I haven’t been the most fortunate in the game of love. So of course, when I came across Love Illuminated by Daniel Jones, the editor of the New York Times Modern Love column, I picked it up and decide to indulge in it.

I picked up the book hoping for some clarity, heck some divine intervention as to why I have been so unfortunate in this love mess. To my luck, in just the first few pages, he says that’s exactly what we should not expect in reading the book. Great, I still read it though.

The book is actually entertaining as Jones uses examples of a multitude of situations to discus pursuit, destiny, vulnerability, connection, trust, practicality, monotony, infidelity, loyalty and wisdom. After reading the book, I came to the conclusion that love is…well impossible to understand. It’s messy, annoying, consuming, tiresome,  a high, weird…to be honest I can go on for days. There are just so many different types of loves and ways of loving, no wonder some of us find ourselves lost and confused. We are weird creatures, sometimes even finding ourselves not really satisfied when we have something we’ve dreamed on for so long. Jones reminded me of all of this. He made me remember that I don’t have it as bad as I think I do.


“Let’s try to embrace love’s complexities as much as we try to explain them away” – Daniel Jones


I’m only 25 but it feels like I’ve been searching for love for years. In love with the idea of love; (ironic I know) I never find it in the right places. There are days I just get tired and want to give up. I’ll admit, I find myself crying some nights at how lonely I feel. That’s my problem though, I’m focusing too much on what I don’t have welcoming in people I don’t need. A lot of you could probably relate. feels like humans are addicted to love.

So in the end, I think you can say I learned a little something from this book. Embrace the complexities of love and take the experiences for what they are worth. Don’t fall in the search but fall in the moment. Most importantly, love yourself the deepest above all other loves.

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The fault In Our Stars

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Lately, I’ve had this need to travel, more than I usually do. It just seems as though the older I get, the more real things become like sickness and death; it’s a bright reminder that nothing in this life is promised. In other words, each new day is a blessing so embrace that blessing and live.

That’s why I told myself that this year, 2017, I’m going to take a trip a month. How? Well I’m figuring that out as I go, but so far it’s coming along.

In the middle of all this, I finished reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I saw the movie a few years back, but reading the book gave me a new perspective on life, illnesses and love.

I found this story line genuine and full of hope. It didn’t focus on kids with cancer, but on their love; how apart from their circumstance it helped them live and experience something good. There’s so much negatives in this world, but if we can find that one good thing to experience, it can make it all worth living. Let us blur the negatives weighting us down; let us live and focus on what we do have and what we can do. That’s the lesson that stuck out to me.


“The marks humans leave are too often scars.” – John Green


I found myself thinking about the opportunities life grants us and how so many get taken for granted on a daily. We tend to find ourselves complaining, and cursing at situations that are really not that big of a deal. Selfish? Ungrateful? Let’s stop and think about it. We never take a second to contemplate things and realize that there are others who have it far worse than we do. We have too many scars we keep pressing on, instead of us allowing the scars to teach us and help us grow. Lets become better individuals by appreciating the beauty in life and the small moments we are blessed to see.

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Letter to my undergraduate self

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – e.e. Cummings

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Dear Tiffany,

I know you’re stressing. You will stress everyday for one reason or the other so do yourself a favor and stop. You’re actually stressing right now as you start taking on your first semester as a graduate student. Just take the time to enjoy the small moments like the way the campus looks filled with autumn leaves on the ground. Don’t overthink every single assignment you receive in class. Go with your gut because after two hours of over-analyzing, that’s essentially what you will end up doing.

I applaud you for your organization and time management skills because those will help you get through the crazy moments when you are drowning in school, work, internships and extra curricular activities. Don’t worry you will somehow manage to have a life because you live by your planner (and you still do at 25.) Talking about your internships, take more advantage of the networking opportunities presented to you. Build relationships and strengthen them because they will come in handy after you graduate and start job hunting. It’s not easy out there and bills start piling up. Don’t be afraid of part-time jobs even if it’s not exactly what you want at the moment. 

You won’t go to the gym but you really should. You seriously lucked out in not gaining the Freshman 15. I mean, you did gain the Freshman 5 though (no, that’s not a thing.) Go on adventures with your friends because you only get to experience college young and free once; life after gets more complex than you think.

Please please please don’t focus on love. College is not the place for it. It may seem like your life falls apart junior year but you’ll survive. Trust me when I say that in the end you become stronger from the disappointments. Don’t stop smiling because it’s your way of pushing forward during those tough times. Overall, you honestly don’t do that bad in college. You slack a bit first semester of freshman year but then you get it together after seeing your GPA. High five for staying focused on school and making it your mission to graduate with nothing less than a 3.0. You definitely learned that it’s easier to drop your GPA than bring it back up!

Enjoy your family. You never know what the future may hold…

However, my most important advice to you would be to never stop loving yourself. You lose track of that for a bit. Remember that this is your life and you matter the most in it. I love you girl and never stop reaching for those stars!

Love, yourself-

Just Breathe

Have you ever forgotten to just breathe? I mean to just take a second to sit down, stop thinking and simply just breathe

Today, I was reminded of how important it is to just stop everything and take some time to reenergize. I was reminded that there is such a thing as taking on too much.

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A few weeks back I realized that November is around the corner and that 24 is peaking through my window. I started panicking because I haven’t even completed half of My List. I quickly started planning the remainder of August. After I finished packing up August with plans, I took a few minutes to think about my year and realized that it has been quite a fulfilling year:

  • I saw three Broadway Plays
  • I had my five year high school reunion
  • I vacationed in Cancun (snorkeled and swam with dolphins)
  • I celebrated St. Patricks Day for the first time
  • I ran my first 5K
  • I got my first massage
  • I rock-climbed
  • I have read three books
  • I roller-skated (I thought it would be a huge fail but it was amazing)
  • I partied on a cruise with friends
  • I took GRE prep courses
  • I went wine and cheese tasting
  • I went to a concert

Of course, after I wrote this down and took a look at it, it didn’t seem like enough. For the next few days, I started juggling so much that I was practically walking around holding my breath. Every second of my day my mind was racing with something I had to do or needed to do. 24 hours just wasn’t enough; everything needed to get completed as soon as possible.

Then my friend sent me this, “Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.” This really made me think… Why are you rushing? What’s the real problem? I let those questions sink in and today received this advice…don’t take on too much to the point where you jeopardize everything you have been working for…prioritize and don’t forget to take a moment to just relax. Funny, because not that long I was asked when was the last time I relaxed. I didn’t have an answer. For the rest of my afternoon I sat on my backyard, with my grandfather, and simply read my book as the wind caressed my face. I was finally breathing.

I decided that for the rest of the week I’m going to just focus on the first task at the top of my list and take it from there. It’s easy for me to forget that the only person on this journey with me is ME. I need to focus on what I am doing and not rush to catch up with everyone else. It’s easy to get distracted and be consumed by the idea of “catching up to others” or “feeling left behind” but the real triumph is staying true to your journey and working towards your goals at your own pace.